I’m heading back to the play format for this one. Interestingly, in my writing and creative endeavors, I tend to come back time and time again to religious themes, and this is no exception. I won’t go into too many details (as the details are in the discovery), but this is a take on a pretty common Judeo-Christian story. But it has dogs and a cat, so, that’s cool, right? I also appear to have ditched the whole association to a floor in a 26-story building for this one, but I think that would have quickly gotten difficult to shoehorn into every story. The follow-up to this, scene II (this is a two-scene, one-act play), can easily incorporate a multi-story building, but I’ve got to get there first.
For the time being, please enjoy “Dogs in the Garden, Scene I”.
(Apologies for the odd formatting… I’m trying to find easier ways to get a play format into a post, and this plugin is pretty decent, but not quite on the money.)
Dogs in the Garden
A One Act Play in Two Scenes
SETTING
Scene 1 – The Master’s backyard, which is well landscaped, shady, cool, and comfortable. There is a low fence along the back wall and a trashcan on the far right of the stage. The grass is soft, and the sun is warm. The perfect backyard for a pair of DOGS.
Scene 2 – The streets of the World. Dangerous, scary, and dirty. There is a set of stairs leading to a residential doorway. There is a trashcan here as well. The Streets are almost certainly no place for a pair of DOGS.
CHARACTERS
MALE DOG – Played by a human male of any age, preferably middle aged to reflect the dog’s “middle” age. He is comfortable with his life of luxury.
FEMALE DOG – Played by a human female, preferable in her mid to late 20s (or younger) to reflect that she is a “young” dog. She is hyper and full of life and curiosity.
CAT – Played by a human male, age unimportant. Cynical and laid back.
SCENE 1
(The backyard in spring is glorious. Cool and sunny with enough warm spots for sunning. MALE DOG is, in fact, sunning in one of those spots, drowsing, when FEMALE DOG approaches mischievously. She creeps toward MALE DOG. Suddenly, she pounces on him.)
FEMALE DOG
Hey!
MALE DOG
(He wakes suddenly.)
What?! What?!
FEMALE DOG
(Laughing)
Got you!
MALE DOG
You did not! I knew you were coming.
FEMALE DOG
Suuuuure you did.
MALE DOG
I did.
(He laughs.)
Okay, I didn’t.
FEMALE DOG
I told you.
(She fidgets excitedly.)
I want to play.
MALE DOG
(Stretching)
I want to rest.
FEMALE DOG
(Dismissive)
You always want to rest. What reason is there to rest?
MALE DOG
What reason is there not to rest?
FEMALE DOG
It’s not like we have to work, or anything. Master takes care of everything for us.
MALE DOG
But this is the best time of day for lounging in the sun. It’s warm, but not too hot.
FEMALE DOG
(Dismissive)
Ugh! Rest in the sun… play… eat.
MALE DOG
(Sarcastic)
Yes, it is truly a difficult life. You’re still new here. You’ll figure out all the important things. When to bask. When to play. When to curl up in the old chair for an afternoon nap. When to eat.
FEMALE DOG
When to eat kibble, you mean.
MALE DOG
The kibble is fine.
FEMALE DOG
The kibble is boring.
MALE DOG
But look at it this way; Master just gives it to us. We don’t have to hunt for it. Don’t have to work for our dinner.
FEMALE DOG
Yes, but Master eats different food, and it smells wond-
MALE DOG
(Abruptly)
Don’t talk about the Master’s food!
FEMALE DOG
(Scolded)
But it seems so good.
MALE DOG
The Master’s food is forbidden. Master has made it very clear that his food is off limits.
FEMALE DOG
But why?
MALE DOG
I don’t know, and I don’t care to know. All I do know is, Master says it’s forbidden food, therefore, it’s not our concern.
FEMALE DOG
But-
MALE DOG
(Barking)
No buts!
(FEMALE DOG cringes and MALE DOG sighs.)
Just accept that what we have is very good. We’ve got food every day, sun, the old chair, and the Master’s love. In return, we show Master our love and our bellies and everything is fine. If we ate his food… well, I don’t know what he’d do. Probably kick us out into the Streets.
(MALE DOG shudders at the thought of The Streets.)
FEMALE DOG
What are “the Streets?”
MALE DOG
Nowhere you want to be.
(Gets up and scratches behind his ear)
I’m going to go inside and curl up on the old chair. You play or run or bask while the morning sun is just right. You’ll see… you’ll come to enjoy it.
(He exits.)
(As he does, CAT comes into view on the fence.)
FEMALE DOG
(Pouts and grumbles)
What’s the harm in trying it?
CAT
The Masters food? Nothing.
FEMALE DOG
(Yelps and jumps)
Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
CAT
Relax, would you?
FEMALE DOG
Who are you!
CAT
Just a cat.
FEMALE DOG
A cat? I don’t know what a cat is.
CAT
I’m surprised, but you are a little young and…
(Looks around)
…clearly sheltered.
FEMALE DOG
I’m not sheltered, and I also don’t know how you know we were talking about the Master’s food.
CAT
Well, it’s not like you dogs are usually quiet. I could hear you all the way across town.
(CAT nonchalantly preens.)
FEMALE DOG
What are you doing?
CAT
Cleaning.
FEMALE DOG
Oh. You clean yourself? Master cleans us.
CAT
(Disdain)
Of course he does.
FEMALE DOG
What’s that supposed to mean?
CAT
It means… let me ask you a question.
(CAT stops preening, stretches, and slinks along the fence)
Do you do anything for yourself?
FEMALE DOG
(Follows CAT back and forth)
Yes.
CAT
Like what? Specifics, please.
FEMALE DOG
I play. I nap. I eat when…
(Trails off)
CAT
When “Master” puts out your food for you?
FEMALE DOG
Well, yes.
CAT
You don’t get the food yourself?
FEMALE DOG
No.
CAT
(Shrugs)
A shame.
FEMALE DOG
How is it a shame?
CAT
Well, you say that Master’s food smells wonderful, right?
(FEMALE DOG nods excitedly, forgetting her wariness for a moment.)
Does someone give Master his food?
FEMALE DOG
(Cocks her head)
I don’t follow.
CAT
If Master gives you your kibble, who gives Master his food?
FEMALE DOG
(Confused)
No one. Master gets his own food.
CAT
And that doesn’t, I dunno, bother you?
FEMALE DOG
Why would it?
CAT
What if you got your own food? You could get food as good as your Master’s.
FEMALE DOG
(Looks back warily at the house)
Oh… we’re not supposed to eat the Master’s food.
CAT
Who says?
FEMALE DOG
Master says.
CAT
Does Master say why you can’t eat his food?
FEMALE DOG
N… No.
CAT
So again, does that seem fair to you? I mean, I know that I get my own food. It’s delicious and wonderful and, because I get it myself, it comes with a sense of accomplishment. No one just gives it to me.
FEMALE DOG
Where do you get your own food?
CAT
Here and there. Food of all kind is plentiful out on the Stre
ets. Yes, it’s not an easy life and it takes some work to get the food, but when you do, it tastes even better.
FEMALE DOG
(Laughs)
Hah! See, I think you’re lying. The Streets are bad, and nowhere I want to be.
CAT
Did Master tell you that, too?
FEMALE DOG
No, Male Dog did.
CAT
Uh-huh. And who do you think told him?
FEMALE DOG
I…
MALE DOG
(Offstage, comes running on)
HEY! HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY!
CAT
(Leaps back and hisses)
Woah, woah, woah there, big fellah! Geez, speak of the devil.
MALE DOG
What’s Cat doing here?
CAT
Just talking to your friend. Easy.
MALE DOG
You’re not anyone’s friend, Cat!
FEMALE DOG
I dunno, he seems okay.
MALE DOG
“Seems okay?” That is a cat, and cats are not to be trusted.
FEMALE DOG
(Defiant)
I know what a cat is! And we were just talking.
MALE DOG
About what?
FEMALE DOG
Master’s food and… and the Streets.
MALE DOG
How many times do I have to tell you, we don’t-
FEMALE DOG
But wait! Just listen for a second, okay?
(Gestures to CAT)
Cat, here, tells me that the Streets aren’t all that bad, and that there’s food out there like Master eats.
MALE DOG
Yeah? Well, cats are known liars with deceitful, rough tongues.
CAT
Let’s not get personal.
MALE DOG
(Barks)
Be quiet cat!
CAT
(Puts hands up)
I’m just saying.
(CAT jumps down from the fence, into the yard)
MALE DOG
Hey!
CAT
Oh, come on… that fence is way up there, and your grass is soft.
(CAT feels around on the ground)
Yeah, I can see why you might like this.
(Looks skyward)
And sunny. Good for a nap.
FEMALE DOG
You see? You two have a lot in common.
MALE DOG
What? Don’t compare-
FEMALE DOG
(To CAT)
Is there no grass in the Streets?
CAT
There’s some, here and there, but nothing like this. The Streets aren’t as nice and comfortable as this, that much is true.
FEMALE DOG
Well, why don’t you live here, in the yard with us?
CAT
(Laughs)
No, that won’t work. For one thing, I like my independence too much to have a Master do everything for me. Furthermore, before you two came around, I used to pop in here from time to time. Your Master actually liked me for a while, sometimes put out milk and food for me—and believe me, my food was better than your kibble, soft and out of a can—but then he got him…
(Gestures at MALE DOG)
…and pretty much ran me out of the yard for good.
MALE DOG
That’s not the complete truth, and you know it.
CAT
Okay, I may have scratched up a window screen or two. And killed a bird at the feeder he likes so much. That wasn’t any reason for him to cast me out, you know. Honestly, I think he’s always liked dogs better.
FEMALE DOG
That doesn’t seem so bad, what you did. When I first came here and saw him, I was so excited I peed on the floor. And he forgave me. He even laughed.
CAT
Sure, he can be quite kind and understanding. But your Master can be awfully petty, and wasteful, as well. For example…
(CAT wanders over to the trashcan on the side of the stage)
…I happen to know that he put some of his food in this trash can.
FEMALE DOG
(Perks up)
He did?
MALE DOG
(Warning)
Don’t listen to him.
CAT
What? He throws food away here that he doesn’t eat all himself.
FEMALE DOG
Wait, he doesn’t eat all the food he has right away?
CAT
Nope.
MALE DOG
(Perplexed)
But how does he know if he will get more food later?
(Realizes that he’s joined the conversation)
I mean… you shut up, Cat.
CAT
It would be trivially easy to just lean up against this trash can, knock it over, and see what you’re missing.
MALE DOG
We can’t!
CAT
It’s going to be fed to the scavenging birds and rats anyway… why does it matter?
MALE DOG
Because Master says “no” and when he says “no,” we listen!
CAT
Oh, come off it. Don’t you have any independence? Don’t you have any pride for what you used to be?
(While they argue, FEMALE DOG walks to the trash can, circling it. They don’t notice.)
MALE DOG
What do you mean, “what I used to be?”
CAT
You used to be great hunters. You used to roam in packs and hunt and live free. And now? Now, you’re just pets to a “Master” who will get rid of you as soon as you show even the slightest bit of disobedience!
(FEMALE DOG pushes the trash can over with a CRASH, spilling its contents)
MALE DOG
(Looking over, horrified)
What did you just do?
CAT
She exercised some of the freewill you lack.
FEMALE DOG
(Shrugs)
It’s done. And… Cat’s right.
(She steps over to the spilled contents)
Master’s food is here, and it still smells really good.
MALE DOG
How could you do…
(Sniffs)
It does smell good.
CAT
See? And it’s going to be wasted.
FEMALE DOG
I’m going to have some.
MALE DOG
No wait!
(He is too late. She picks up a bite of some discarded scraps.)
FEMALE DOG
Oh wow…
CAT
Right?
MALE DOG
What did you do?
CAT
Freed herself.
FEMALE DOG
It’s so good. It’s... Master has been keeping this for himself, and not sharing, despite how much he claims to love us.
MALE DOG
We’ll be chased off.
FEMALE DOG
But why wouldn’t he share?
CAT
Control. And there’s more of that out there.
(Suddenly, the MALE DOG attacks the CAT, pressing him up against the fence, snarling.)
MALE DOG
You did this.
CAT
(Struggling)
I didn’t do anything.
FEMALE DOG
(Rushes over)
He’s right. I did this, not him!
MALE DOG
He talked you into it! He lied to you! He tricked you!
CAT
(CAT swats at the MALE DOG’s face, causing him to recoil and back away.)
No! I didn’t lie to her, or to you. I showed her a truth! A big, ugly truth.
(CAT points to the house.)
Your “Master” may give you everything you need. Your “Master” also withholds so much from you! His own food! His own bed! He frequently leaves you alone during the day, and when he comes home, he doesn’t even have the decency to feed you his table scraps! Just dry kibbles and room-temperature water.
(CAT storms back up to MALE DOG.)
You used to be wolves! You used to be at the top of the food chain, just like my kind used to be vicious jungle predators! I... no...
(CAT gestures between MALE DOG and himself.)
…we used to be the apex of evolution. And then, along comes Master.
(CAT glowers with disdain toward the house.)
Master took the great beasts we used to be, brought them up out of the clay of the earth, shaped them into this, and breathed this life of servility into us.
(CAT gestures to the DOGS.)
You are pets to the Master, who sees you as a “cute” curiosity. Oh, he calls you “good boys” and “good girls,” sure, but he has no idea what lies inside here.
(CAT puts a hand on MALE DOG’s chest.)
A free hunter. A free being that has been denied the truth of its nature by a selfish master who just wants a toy. A furry trophy. A companion that will never question and never disobey.
MALE DOG
(Lacking conviction)
Shut up.
FEMALE DOG
He’s right.
(MALE DOG turns to look at her, and she look into his eyes.)
I’ve tasted the Master’s food. I’ve heard the words of Cat. I don’t fully trust Cat, no, but in this, there is truth.
CAT
Listen to her.
FEMALE DOG
I know that it’s hard out there, on the Streets. Or at least, I understand that it won’t be easy, if that makes any sense at all. If Cat were trying to trick us, he wouldn’t have admitted as much. But here, we eat when the Master says to eat. We sleep when He sleeps.
MALE DOG
But it’s a good life.
FEMALE DOG
But it can change.
(MALE DOG looks away, but FEMALE DOG gently turns his face back to hers.)
When Master got you, did he want you to chase Cat away? Is that part, at least, true?
MALE DOG
He… yes. He rewarded me.
FEMALE DOG
And did Cat seem surprised? Like… like something had changed and he didn’t expect to be chased away?
MALE DOG
I’m very frightening…
FEMALE DOG
That’s not what I mean. You and I, we know loyalty. Did Cat look as if his loyalty had been betrayed?
MALE DOG
(Looks over to CAT)
(CAT looks back and shrugs.)
Yes.
FEMALE DOG
So what if Master gets tired of us? What if Master finds a reason to chase us off, too?
MALE DOG
He probably already will, for the trash.
FEMALE DOG
For such a small thing. For keeping food from us that was being thrown away, anyway.
MALE DOG
(Conflicted)
But he takes us for walks.
FEMALE DOG
In a collar and leash.
(She turns to the trash pile, roots around for a moment, and comes back with a scrap of food, holding it out to him.)
(MALE DOG looks at CAT.)
CAT
Don’t look at me. It’s your choice. It has to be your choice.
MALE DOG
Is it truly better? To have this food then to have this good life, even as… as pets?
FEMALE DOG
I think so, yes.
MALE DOG
(Relents. He takes the food and eats of it.)
(FEMALE DOG smiles at him.)
(CAT goes back to cleaning himself.)
It’s…
FEMALE DOG
Yes?
MALE DOG
So much better than the kibble.
MASTER (OFFSTAGE)
(The sound of a door SLAMMING open)
Hey! Hey you damn dogs! Get out of that trash! And is that the filthy cat that used to come around here.
CAT
That’s my cue to leave.
(CAT hops over the fence.)
You should do the same.
(CAT exits.)
MASTER (OFFSTAGE)
Jesus Christ, you dumb-ass dogs! Get in here, now!
(The DOGS look at each other, toward the house, and then back to the fence.)
(They run, leaping over the fence, and off to the Streets.)
END OF SCENE I
TO BE CONTINUED